


Wedding Bells Are Ringing?

by ETNMystic



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series)
Genre: April Fool's joke, F/F, I know, also please don't hate me, also some who aren't in etn including, anna brisbin - Freeform, but i have low to high key crushes on them, dodie clark - Freeform, honestly i wouldn't mind being written in a fluff fit between me and any of the etn youtubers, lilly singh - Freeform, please, please write some fluff of me, psych! it's a fakeout! you were fooled. ha ha ha ha, ships, some of these gals are straight in real life, tessa netting - Freeform, what? you thought I was actually gonna marry the cursed god?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 16:06:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18318671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETNMystic/pseuds/ETNMystic
Summary: I think I milked this joke for long enough.But c'mon, did you really think I WASN'T gonna do something for April Fool's Day?Also, SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE SOME CUTE NON-SEXUAL FLUFF BETWEEN ME AND MY YOUTUBER GIRLFRIENDS IN THIS FIC. OR ANY OF THE ETN GIRLS. OR DODIE CLARK OR ANNA BRISBIN OR TESSA NETTING OR LILLY SINGH OR DARK QUEEN SAFIYA/MORTICIA. HELL, EVEN WITH ONE OF THE CLOWNS OR LUCY. BUT PREFERABLY NOT.I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE FLUFF.





	1. Chapter 1

Dark light and sunlight stream through my window, and past my white-veiled canopy, gently placing a blanket of light over my eyes.

Birds twitter in and out of my luxurious bedroom, and I hear a gentle harp emerge from the sky.

My eyes flutter open, confused. I feel as though today is different from any other day,

but I can't quite pin my finger on why;

all I know is that I feel as though something special and wonderful is going to happen to me today.

Reaching around my bedside table, I feel my glasses placed in my hand.

Putting them on, I see two of my chambermaids, Brigitte and Renee, waiting.

"Good morning, your majesty," they chorus in British unison.

"It's best that you get up sooner rather than later," Brigitte advises me.

"You certainly wouldn't want to miss such an important day," Renee agrees

"Important day?" I ask, tilting my head.

"What day is it?"

The two look at each other, and then back to me.

"The day of your wedding, of course."

I blink rapidly, and gasp.

"So soon?" I exclaim curiously.

They nod.

"Shall we get you to the bathroom?" Renee asks me.

"You should look your very best," Brigitte tells me.

Eagerly, I jump out of bed, revealing my pure white nightgown, and skip to the bathroom.

* * *

After a luxurious bath, facial, hairstyling, and light amounts of makeup, I skip back out of the bathroom to find the bluebirds and the deer finishing up making my bed, while two more deer pull open my wardrobe revealing the most spectacular wedding dress and veil. My heart is aflutter. I skip behind a privacy screen and remove my nightgown. The birds gently lower the dress onto me, while another set of bluebirds grab my veil.  Once the dress and white ballet flats are on, they set the veil, equipped with a pure-white tiara, upon my head. I emerge from the privacy screen.

"How do I look?" 

"Beautiful!" they squeal.

"So pure and innocent," Renee sighs.

"So cute and adorable!" Brigitte adds excitedly.

I feel myself blush heavily and they giggle.

"When is the ceremony again?" I wonder, as I do a little twirl.

"Not for an hour, your majesty," they reply.

"I have to wait THAT long to see him?" I gasp despondently.

"We're afraid so," Brigitte sighs.

"But we can bring in your bridesmaids for now," Renee comforts me.

"Oh yes, please," I gasp eagerly.

They walk out in sync as I sit down upon my bed. Something in my mind keeps telling me that this is wrong.

I shouldn't be going through with this.

I try to keep it quiet.

They bring in Safiya, Rosanna, Penelope, Alice, Matt for some reason, Nikita, Justine, Lauren, Leah, Bird, Andrea R, Gabbie, Liza, and Eva all dressed in their gowns/suit.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Justine asks worried.

I nod.

"Absolutely. This feeling I have for him.....it's undeniable. I can't hide it any longer. By the way, Andrea, Safiya, Gabbie, Liza, and Ro. I want you five to stand closest to me, okay?"

They nod.

We talk for a little while, but finally the chambermaids open the door.

"Your majesty, it's time," they tell me eagerly.

The bridesmaids go on ahead. With the help of my chambermaids, and the forest animals, I glide down the steps. After some graceful walking, the chambermaids hand me my bouquet of pure white roses and open the double doors. Everyone stands up, turns around, and gasps as a ray of pure, golden light emits over me. And up ahead, I see him. The one who I give my soul to. The one I shall stay pure for for all of eternity. The man I'm about to marry.

The Cursed God.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Gliding down the red velvet-laced floor of the chapel, I notice that the five girls are placed where I asked them to stand, but it's not about them.

It's about him.

 He stares at me lovingly as I glide towards the altar. Gently he takes ahold of my virgin-soft hands, and gently glides the ring onto one of my ring fingers. I feel so flustered as my face glows red with shyness. I never thought that this day would come. I feel tears come to my eyes, so I go over to the five girls. I whisper something in each of their ears, and they nod before I glide back to him.

The priest begins the speech, and then it is time for our vows. He makes his first, and then I make mine;

_I, Mystic, have chosen to give my soul, my life, my love, my heart to him, the Cursed God._

_He is my love, my life, my world, my everything._

_I have chosen to stay pure, stay innocent, stay untouched, stay a chaste maiden, for him and him alone._

_I make an unbreakable vow of incorruptible pure purity in this union, for I am his angelic ingenue._

_I shall maintain a state of purity, a state of beauty, a state of innocence, for all of time and beyond._

_I am a flower that must remain untouched for him for all eternity._

_Only gentle caressments, cuddles, hugs, sweet and innocent pecks, an occasional long-held kiss._

_No one is to defile or deflower me, not even him._

_I am a doll, his sweet porcelain doll, for him to hold in innocence and purity._

_Free of sin and evil for eternity._

_A relic of beauty to be admired._

_His precious treasure, one that shall be desired by all, yet stolen by none._

_And so it shall be_

_Now and forevermore._

The priest turns to him.

"Do you, Cursed God, take Mystic to be your bride?"

"I certainly do."

He turns to me.

"Do you, Mystic, take the Cursed God, to be your husband?"

"I do," I sigh enamourously.

"Then I now pronounce you husband and bride. You may kiss the bride."

We slowly lean in. My childlike mind tries to go in for it, but he holds me back, caressing my head and whispering in my ear like I am a child, because I am a child; I must be protected. He shall protect me, for he is big and strong and tough, a lion; I am but a flower, a delicate, dainty, innocent flower who cannot defend herself. He is my guardian, he is my protector, he is my defender, he is my savior. 

"Patience, my sweet little lark," he assures me.  
  
"We must savor this moment."

We go in slowly, our eyes closed, slowly....slowly....slowly.....and then finally.......

 


	3. Chapter 3

He doesn't feel my lips.

"Huh?" he gasps, opening his eyes.  
"Mystic, my bride?"

He looks up and is appalled, and so are everyone else, to see me over with my bridesmaids, making out with each of them, flipping him the bird with my back towards him. I give Rosanna a few quick and sweet pecks on the lips. Safiya and I hold on to each other for some time. Liza and I share several kisses both on the face and cheeks, as well as the lips. Gabbie and I get really into it, you can definitely hear some pretty intense smooching noises and moaning. And Andrea Russett and I have each other in quite an intimate lip lock, tongues and all. Yup, I went there.

And this is not a sudden bout of lust or me becoming lesbian. Oh no! How the fuck can I do that if I identify as ace AND biromantic? Nah, bitches! This was planned! Remember me going over to whisper in their ears? That was to affirm this plan. Someone was indeed kissing the bride, but it sure as hell was NOT gonna be the Cursed God, not in a million fucking years. Besides I would low-key (or high-key) date and/or marry these five gals anyway. As I back Andrea up against the wall, I flip him off with both middle fingers. Reaching behind my head, I yank off the ring and yeet it at his head. 

"What are you doing?" he demands angrily.  
"You heard what the priest said, didn't you?"

"Yeah," I scoff.  
"And I ain't gonna do fucking shit with you, jackass."

"You made a promise to me! You're to be mine for eternity, an untouched and innocent beauty. Please stop this, or you'll be tainted, deflowered, broken!"

"Fuck your purity standard, you pretentious bastard!"

At this point, he reaches out for me, but Andrea grabs me close.

"Stay close to me, darling," she advises me. 

"No, stay close to me, honey," Liza tells me as she pulls me in.

"Um, I think you're better next to me, pumpkin," Gabbie laughs jealously.

"You'll be safer with me, sweetheart," Safiya gasps as she pulls me into her.

"Let's just all protect her," Ro suggests.  
"I'm not letting that ba---"

We all gasp, and she looks at us like we've gone mad.

"I was going to say 'bad man.' I'm not letting this bad man take her away from us."

Sighing in relief, the five of them make a circle around me. Penelope and the others make circles around that circle as we rush out of the chapel. The Cursed God makes chase while I pull out the teastones.

"I wish for a gigantic middle finger to obscure his vision."

The stone dissipates, and he begins to trip over everything. I pull out another stone.

"I wish my friends, girlfriends, and I were on a private luxury cruise ship that the Cursed God can't track, heading to an island that he can't track. Oh, and I wish we were wearing swimsuits."

* * *

 

And just like that, we're out on the water on a boat. The sun's shining, the pool water on the ship is glistening and sparkling.  _"_ Under the Sea"from  _The Little Mermaid_ is playing. And the bar is open to both teens and adults. 

"Mademoiselle Mystic," the captain greets me.  
"We'd like to personally thank you for choosing Teastone Wish Cruise Lines; here we work to make sure your experience is better than anything you could ever imagine. We're like the Disney Cruise Lines, but with really real magic. Might we offer you a mimosa smash, with a bit of adorableness enhancing syrup?"

I nod and they hand me a taller glass with crushed mimosa with unfrozen mimosa to give it more liquid. I take a sip. 

"Phew!" Alice in her own body sighed.  
"For a hot minute, I actually thought you were gonna marry him!"

I giggle cutely.

"Not in anyone's dream. Sorry if I gave you a heart attack, but I can't help that you forgot that it was April Fool's Day. I mean, yeah okay, I should've dropped the joke sooner, but I can't help it. I like to go all in. Can you please forgive me?"

Alice sighs.

"I mean, I guess I'm back in my own body---"

"--Yeah, sorry I lied about that---."

"---And this cruise ship is pretty awesome. Alright. I forgive you."

"Darling," Andrea R calls.  
"Aren't you going to come swimming with me?"

"No! She's swimming with me," Gabbie argues.

"I believe she said she was swimming with me," Liza coughs.

"No, she's swimming with me," Safiya asserts.

"We can all swim with her," Rosanna resolves.  
"Then we'll have a nice dinner, and then we'll cuddle while watching the sunset."

We all cheer in agreement as I dive into the water. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I trick you?
> 
>  
> 
> APRIL FOOLS!
> 
>  
> 
> This is just a joke fic, I promise. Though I wouldn't mind writing/someone else writing some fluff between me and my five or more girlfriends.


End file.
